An Ocean In My Palm

When my heart broke
It fled to the soothing embrace of the ocean
Waves crash back. A flash of lightning
Illuminating a single memory
Till unwillingly my floodgates open
To the illusion of you
In hallways and corners
In dark rooms. You were but a kind illusion
Who missed the sea.
How many can say that kindness broke their backs
And that they themselves conspired with the sea to break their own hearts.
There was just one at fault in the end.
I walk past you with an ocean of emotion hidden in my tight fists
As you calm the currents in my veins. My world slowed down for you
As I hope the waters wash away your invaded grief
And that the sea finally dreams of you.
As the breeze whispers the last secret to me
That I never really knew you
When my heart broke
It fled to the ocean
So I let it drown me sometimes.

City Light Girl

You are the ray of sunlight that knows darkness equally well
Striding through the bright lights of the city
That dispel darkness intermittently
I am the sadness of an unreal home
Walking under slivers of light filtering through the trees
In the earthy street, the natural retreat, I am still at unease
Waiting to see
If your light and my dark
Can create an emotion
As alive as the lights
Shining intermittently in your city.
If there is place with you for a perpetually sad oddity
Like me.

Rein

I stopped writing when the clouds lifted

And I saw the sun for what it was

Brutal and real

I stopped finding when the delusion lifted

And I saw that you were real

Brutal and real

Shining like the sun

I avert my eyes

I see you only in the periphery of my vision

I never stopped watching

I am attuned to you feeling your light

No matter if our eyes don’t meet

But I always walk away

Waiting for the day the rain will wash the memory of you away.

Waiting for the day the gentle rain will let me be myself again.

Writer’s Block

Writer’s block?
More like an attempt at recovery.
My self-inficted wounds ooze ink.
Or whatever programming goes behind computer type.
When the world is an ocean crashing against your shoulders
Shed the weight in every word you create.
If pain created beautiful poetry
I would gladly let go of these words and embrace a happier reality.
There are writers who create words in celebration of this universe
Then there are us, mad women, creating words to simply enable us to survive.
In this universe.
Maybe when I see the light, I will draw instead.
And the ink of my past will fade away.
Just as my romantic self would say
Instead of deleting words on Microsoft Word as a happier, more rational me would dare to say.

And I would finally be okay.