Old Apartment Blues

I miss home.
I miss the warm confusion of leaking lights
The calm moments while staring into the night
The mild repulsion in an old love
The hidden hidden secrets whispered as someone passed by
I knew of home only in the memories of secrets of others
But now dawns some new unfamiliarity
So you take your fearful heart and put the water to boil
As you take comfort in stroking the cats
As your heart bleeds for the present
Knowing that going home will only hurt worse
For all the memories you kept a secret have to die sometime
You will run away to a foreign land
But you are so foreign to yourself too.
Somewhere in their words, you lost your ability to believe your own.
And you need to leave as a condition
To renew your contract with your soul
Because the place you leased will be the same
But you won’t.